I love scary movies. Even when I was little, I looked forward to “Creature Feature” (though I sometimes watched from behind the couch).

With Halloween coming soon, I thought it’d be fun to imagine some of my favorite scary movies as scary blogs. I came up with 13:

1. Night of the Living Blog. Radiation from a fallen internet service satellite has caused dead bloggers to rise up and post about their hunger for human flesh. Once you get “trackbacked,” you become one of them. And the only way to kill one is to destroy their keyboard.

2. The Texas Chainsaw Blog. En route to visit their grandfather’s grave, five teenage bloggers drive past Google headquarters. They pick up a nerdy hitch-hiker, get freaked and drop him off (but not before he tampers with their GPS). They end up at an old farm house that looks nothing like the Internet café they were trying to find, go inside to ask for directions… and are plunged into a never-ending nightmare as they meet a family of cannibal bloggers who specialize in the power tool niche.

3. The Blogorcist. A young female blogger is possessed by the devil and starts posting, tagging and pinging filth all over the Internet. Two priests risk their sanity and their lives to perform a blogorcism as the girl’s head spins in circles and her PC levitates.

4. Blog on Elm Street. A mutilated monster blogger named Freddy spams teenagers during their dreams, snatching them through their monitor.

5. Blogcho. The deranged mama’s boy blogger of BatesMotel.com terrorizes a beautiful spammer as she tries to clean up her act during a visit to his chat room.

6. The Blogging. The off-season guest blogger of OverlookHotel.com becomes bored due to the lack of visitors, succumbs to the site’s evilness, and starts making very nasty posts about his wife and young son. Redrum!

7. Blogula. A mysterious blogger posts only at night and sucks the traffic from competing sites.

8. Blogien. In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream. An alien blogger invades the Internet, terrorizes IT teams, and implants alien viruses in web sites without secure firewalls.

9. Invasion of the Blog Snatchers. Extraterrestrials quietly start replacing interesting blogs with boring clones in San Francisco as the blog owners sleep.

10. Rosemary’s Blog. A pregnant blogger begins to suspect she’s being spammed by a Satanic cult intent on stealing her baby niche content.

11. When a Stranger Blogs. A beautiful young blogger begins getting scary comments and text messages on her laptop while babysitting. Extremely suspenseful blog that spawned legions of imitations.

12. The Silence of the Blogs. A novice FBI agent consults with a creepy blogger in order to catch a demented serial spammer. “I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.”

13. Blogs. A great white blog attacks and consumes visitors to a popular vacation site. The local sheriff tries to convince the owner to shut down the site as he and a grizzled IT expert attempt to catch the monster. “We’re gonna need a bigger spam blocker!”

If you're new here and like what you see, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed or sign up for my free email updates. Thanks for visiting!

Take a break from blogging time and enjoy BUSINESS TIME:

… "Traffic" doesn't make you think of cars;

… "Conversion" doesn't make you think of religion;

… "Feed" doesn't make you think of food;

… "Tease" doesn't make you think of a flirty woman;

… "Hook" doesn't make you think of fishing (or a pirate);

… "Web" doesn't make you think of spiders;

… "Spider" doesn't make you think of 8-legged creepy-crawlers;

… "Search" doesn't make you think of finding something that's lost;

… "Spam" doesn't make you think of canned mystery meat;

… "Rank" doesn't make you think of something that "has its privileges"

… "Surfing" doesn't make you think of waves;

… "Browser" doesn't make you think of shoppers;

… "Post" doesn't make you think of something that holds up a fence;

… "Tag" doesn't make you think of being "It";

… "Digg" doesn't make you think of a shovel.

Here's a fun way to market to women:

I haven't upgraded to Windows Vista yet. I had enough headaches downloading, installing and debugging Internet Explorer 7. I'm sure Vista is very cool, but I'll wait until I get a new computer (probably a laptop) that comes with it already installed… and after it's been field tested by blondes like me for a year or so.

Sorry about the silly headline, but I'm in a weird mood. The foot fashions I'm referring to are shoes and boots… as in these two blogs: ShoeMoney and BootMoney.

ShoeMoney is a very popular "A-Lister" blog about affiliate marketing. Go there, read the posts, and you'll learn wonderful tips about various affiliate marketing strategies.

BootMoney is a new parody blog of ShoeMoney. Go there, read the posts, and you won't learn a damn thing about affiliate marketing… but you'll fall out of your chair laughing. This blog is seriously funny.

Visit both blogs and you'll laugh all the way to the bank. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself and that just slipped out… told you I was in a weird mood.)

Meet Reesie.

Isn't she cute? The story John Reese tells about her is cute, too:

Read more

Want to exercise your right to vote–for blogs?

Check out The Blogger's Choice Awards.

There are several categories to choose from, including some fun ones like Hottest Daddy Blogger, Hottest Mommy Blogger, Most Obnoxious Blogger, and Worst Blog of All Time.

Sheesh, can you imagine winning that last one?

You can nominate and vote for any blog, including your own. (Yes, I nominated mine, but realize I don't deserve to win. But hey, I got a nice backlink by doing it, and you can too!)

If you have trouble making up your mind, you can vote for more than one blog in each category. But you can only vote once for each blog.

You can comment on as many blogs as you want, as often as you want. Share your thoughts about their content, design, odds of winning, whatever. Comments are highly encouraged!

There are hundreds of outstanding blogs competing in this contest. I'm sure you'll see many of your favorites listed. Even if you don't bother to vote, I guarantee you'll discover dozens of fascinating blogs you'll want to start reading on a regular basis.

Check it out. It will be fun, and I won't even twist your arm to vote for my blog. (Whatever you do, please don't nominate me as the Most Obnoxious Blogger!)

Here's where to go to check out all the competing blogs and help determine which ones should win: Blogger Awards

Affiliate Extraordinaire Jeremy Palmer just tipped me off that Search Marketing Expert Vinny Lingham is reporting some astounding news: Google will be dropping their popular pay per click advertising model in favor of a CPM (cost per thousand impressions) model!

According to Vinny:

"Google will no longer accept Cost Per Click (CPC) bids. Apparently, this is in anticipation of more branding dollars moving online and Google will still utilize Clickthrough rates in determining Quality Score, but will charge for ads on a CPM (Cost per Thousand Impression) basis. My sources tell me that the new CPM rates are expected to earn more effective revenue with advertisers that have low clickthrough rates and also allow them to embed advertising within the newly acquired
YouTube network."

This is certain to shake up the "Adsense empire" builders!

If you're interested in Google's Adsense PPC program, you've got to read Vinny's entire post, including the comments, here: Google to Drop CPC and Revert to CPM.